I really don't know what im going to do with this so for now I'm just going to use it as some sort of journal to type my thoughts into. Expect plenty of spelling errors, cringe, angst, and just everything else you dont want to think about.
12/04/24
I'm hoping that were going to move seats soon in English. I don't know how much longer I can handle sitting next to Taylor and Miley, I like Miley but she can be really distracting sometimes when im trying to read or actually do my work. Taylor is honestly just anoying and a hypocritical asshole, she's also very short tempered. She really pisses me off, if you look at her the wrong way she'll threaten to beat your ass (as if she actually can). We're reading Farenheit 451 in class and I honestly really like it, I think the teachers assigned us four writing questions on it. I haven't done any of them though, I'm really bad about the writing questions. They're opened ended questions and we have to write a whole paragraph of it, the paragraphs aren't even the issue it's the open ended part that really fucks with me. I can't write anything without worrying if it sounds stupid and embarasing. Everything I write is just to dumb to turn in to the teacher.
It's getting colder outside, which is expected considering the fact that it's December, I have mixed feelings about Winter. I hate how cold it is obviously, but sometimes a cold gush of wind can be nice, sometimes it makes me feel refreshed in a way like it's blowing away the hot sweaty feeling of the summer. The snow is beautiful, the eye straining white reminds me of when I first started hanging out with Maighan. I remember the first time I talked to Maighan (at least I think it was the first time), Karleigh introduced us to each other at a pep sesion and Karleigh kinda started telling us that she thought we would get along, we both liked fnaf and the movie was coming out soon so we talked about that along with NIN and MCR until the final bell rang and we both got on our busses. That was in 6th grade, after that I didn't talk to her until around this time last year (mid to late 7th grade). Her Christina and Emily sat at the table next to me where I sat with Sadie Ella and Kiona. One day we just kind of started talking to each other about things we liked and havent seemed to stop talking since.
I submited and audition for the all-state band about a month ago and we got the results back yesterday, I didn't get in. It didn't really bug me that much, the band director says it's good enough that I was even able to submit and audition which is good enough for me. He always says that I'm really good at playing which is good, I never really aimed to great at playing a trumpet I had just happened to enjoy playing it and had gotten really good at it. I've been playing my guitar more often to, I think since I'm finally learning songs (all the way through, not just bits) it's kind of restored my ambition to play and actually become someone. I have no idea what I'd want to with my life other than make music, maybe be some sort of artist or actor even though those are just as hard if not harder to do. When I try to look at my future it's really all I can see.
